Risky Love vs. Responsible Love - How Do We Choose?

Have you ever met someone who you instantly knew was special to you? When you see them, they take your breath away...and when they look at you, it paralyzes you and relaxes you at the same time? Or perhaps it's a love that grew out of a childhood friendship that never really went away because that person knows you inside and out and no one else can ever know you like that?

You know how it goes...you grow up, you realize that you have to be "responsible" and look for a mate that looks great on paper and will be a good, responsible life partner...and when you compare the passionate, risky love from one person to the responsible, mature love from another, you weigh the pros and cons and make your choice.

Which do you choose?

That's what the new movie "Premium" by writer-director Pete Chatmon explores. Starring Zoe Saldana ("Guess Who"), Dorian Missick ("Six Degrees"), Hill Harper ("CSI:NY"), and Frankie Faison ("White Chicks"), this real look at life, love and relationships will help you remember what's important in your own life. With it's early 2007 release, this is a movie you won't want to miss.

Movie Synopsis:
Reginald "Cool" Coolidge is a struggling actor fed up with taking stereotypical African American roles but waiting for his big break in a legitimate production. Until this time comes, he works at his mother's boyfriend's gas station to repay him for covering his college tuition. One day at the station, his ex-fiancée - and one true love - reappears at the pumps after 3 years of silence. Cool discovers that it is 36 hours until her wedding to a local lawyer. As Cool embarks on last-ditch attempts to win her back, he takes on the biggest "role" of his life while also learning the secret to mastering his craft.

Check out the trailer below and please support this film!

PREMIUM.

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Check out Pete Chatmon's MySpace page for more info on Premium:
http://www.myspace.com/double7film


Speak up and comment!

Which love is better - a mature, responsible love, or a passionate, risky one? Or is it even a choice?

Also, what do you think of this movie so far?

What Race is Jesus? A New Movie Shakes Up Cinema & Social Norms

Does the race of Jesus Christ matter in history, in today's society, or to you personally? Was Jesus Black? Or White? Or Chinese, or Hispanic? Can you picture Jesus as all of these races, or just one?

Filmmaker Jean Claude LaMarre has set out to demonstrate in his new film, "Color of the Cross", that the race of Jesus does not matter. In an article on MSN, LaMarre, who plays Jesus in his film, brings up an interesting point:

"Black people in this country are the only race of people who worship a god outside their own image," says LaMarre, 38, adding that showing Christ as a black man is "the most poignant way to deal with the issue of race in this country because it goes to the heart of how we look at the world."

Even for me, a progressive-thinking, liberal person, I have to admit that it's hard for me to imagine Jesus as Black, Asian, or Hispanic...really, anything other than an olive-skinned Middle Eastern looking man (or a white male with a tan, to be quite frank). I blame that on my upbringing in mostly white churches, but as an adult, I can't blame anyone for how I perceive Jesus, regarding race or anything else.


LaMarre believes that Jesus may have been persecuted in part because of His being a Black male. I think that's reaching just a bit, but it does bring up the fact that probably since the beginning of time, there has been racism. So, if Jesus were Black, or any other persecuted race (as we know He did suffer persecution), then His skin color may have played a part. The hard part is that we don't have pictures or evidence from His time period that can guide us in how He looked physically. Moreso, there are very few passages in the Bible that refer to Jesus' physical appearance:

Revelations 1:14-15

1:14 His head and [His] hairs [were] white like wool, as white as snow; and His eyes [were] as a flame of fire;
1:15 And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace; and His voice as the sound of many waters.
(KJV translation)

The wool-like hair and feet like "fine brass" could be indications that Jesus was dark-skinned or of African descent. But the wool hair could also refer to the color of his hair...so, that description alone may not be enough to determine Jesus was Black, or any other race for that matter. But the problem creeps in when social norms have determined that mainstream society will depict Christ as white, and we of other races accept that as an undoubtable truth.

The question now is, do you believe Jesus has a race? Do you think the race of your God or Christ should be the same as yours? Why?

Links for more info:
Interivew with LaMarre
BlackFlix site that highlights the movie
Background on the Race of Jesus

Why don't married men wear wedding rings?

We've all known of a married man who didn't/doesn't wear his wedding ring, but the question is why? Single women everywhere have long experienced this phenomenon: the unnoticeably married man. They're in bars, clubs, or just out an about just like any regular single guy. The difference is that they took a vow to forever be married and with that vow came a ring...which, has somehow escaped his now bare finger.

In this article by Amy Sohn (who wrote the book "Kiss & Tell" about Sex and the City) explores the various excuses heard by women everywhere. But, are excuses satisfactory answers as to why these men choose not to wear the symbol of commitment given to them on their wedding day? If they didn't plan on wearing them, why go through the expense of buying rings and having a wedding?

The point is that married men don't need to be galavanting around as if they're single. Period. If a man is truly committed to his marriage, then a single gal should be able to tell he's committed upon first talking to him. Am I right?

Check out Miss Manner's shoot-down of a 22-something who complains about men not wearing wedding bands. Maybe with age does come wisdom.

Also, check out one blogger's version of the history of wedding bands and how uncommon it was for men to wear them just 50 years ago or so.

To Wear or Not To Wear A Wedding Ring...THAT is the question!

*Thanks to WWRT reader Mr. Pacman for suggesting this topic.

Whitney & Bobby Divorce! What Happened?!

Whitney Houston filed for divorce from Bobby Brown after 14 years of marriage. After all of the arrests, all the "crack is wack" jokes, after her sister-in-law took photos of her bathroom, and after all the bad pictures taken at gas stations at 4am, this couple has been forced to call it quits. But what the heck happened? I guess that's what Outkast calls "Hollywood Divorce."

Who watched Being Bobby Brown? Did you think that their problems showed through in the show? Or were Bobby and Whitney different than you would've expected? Or did you watch just to hear her say "Hell to the Naw" one more time?

The show was definitely a work of art, and I'm glad it did so well. I do think that there is a CURSE to these married couple reality TV shows. Nick & Jessica, Travis Barker & Shanna, Dave Navarro & Carmen Electra, etc. What about couples that just show up in videos together period?! Usher and Chilli, Mary J. Blige & K-Ci...who am I forgetting? Mack 10 and T-Boz...the list goes on and on.

What's crazy is that the same mechanism that makes them famous also tears them apart. The craze and celebrity-making nature of the papparazzi. Who can have a relationship when there are cameras following you EVERYWHERE?!

What about you? Think any relationship in Hollywood has a shot in hell with all of the papparazzi, tabloids, and public records available at will? Or are all Hollywood couples headed for divorce? I don't know if I could handle my every move being under a microscope.

Some of life's greatest pleasures are the things you get to keep to yourself. ;-)

The Mystery of Suri Cruise

FINALLY! SURI CRUISE HAS FINALLY APPEARED! Vanity Fair has a special 22 page issue featuring photos of Suri, Kate, and Mr. Mapother (aka Tom Cruise).

Click here for the article: http://www.vanityfair.com/magazine/pressroom/

But why, oh why, has it taken 4 whole months for this kid to make an appearance? A few theories have been circulating:
1. They needed time to get the baby from overseas and make sure the kid didn't look too distinctly "Asian"
2. Katie was being a "good mom" and shielding her child from the nosey papparrazo
3. There is/was no Suri Cruise

After the gossip rags started reporting that #3 was really the answer to the Suri mystery, all of a sudden celebs only had 3 words to say when asked about the missing member of the Cruise clan: "I've Seen Suri". Check out Penelope Cruz, Leah Remini, and Jada Pinkett Smith's attempts to instill faith in the common people that THERE IS a Suri Cruise.

But lo and behold, the kid has now arrived. Is it real? Is this another publicity stunt? Better yet - does the kid even look like them?

You tell us. Tons of folks are putting the pieces together and stuff just isn't adding up. Check out these links. Tell me what YOU think. Is it a conspiracy? Or are these just 2 good wholesome folks who are trying so hard to stay out of the public's eye, like they've done in the past by jumping on Oprah's yellow leather couches...making public motorcycle appearances....getting engaged after a month of knowing each other....or taking enough pictures to make sure the papparrazi have enough photos for EVERY cover of US Weekly, Star and In Touch magazine.

The strangeness continues to surround Suri Cruise:

Birth Certificate Oddities - http://www.tmz.com/2006/07/10/exclusive-suri-cruise-birth-certificate/

Suri's First Poop Gets Bronzed - http://www.caplakesting.com/danedwards/index.htm

What do you think? Real or fake?

Women in Sports: Why Are They So Underpaid?

As the NFL season begins, I am constantly amazed at how much professional athletes earn. As some of you know, my brother is currently a rookie in the NFL, vying for a position on an NFL team like many of his former teammates from Tennessee. However, I was floored when I read an article about how much one of my brother's former teammates will earn this year (approximately $8M - click here to read). However, in the arena of women's sports, few (if any) female athletes earns that sort of money. Not Lisa Leslie, not Mia Hamm, not Jackie Joyner Kearsey, and not even Laila Ali. In fact, not only do women not earn as much as their male counterparts in the sports realm, but women sports leagues constantly struggle to maintain attendance and generate decent profit levels.

Check out this article about the discrimination women face in professional sports in term of pay: (Click Here)

This article theorizes:

"The norm for females in the workplace remains a covert guiding hand into the “Pink Ghetto” -- a place of limited advancement where women (and people of color) end up when segregated into lower paying, undervalued occupations."

Why are women in professional sports so grossly underpaid?

Is it due to the lack of huge audiences at their events, or is the lack of perception in that people are used to being fans of male sports and believe the professional male sports' teams are just better to watch?

On an even broader note, have women gotten closer to breaking the glass ceiling, or are we all still stuck in the "Pink Ghetto" when it comes to equality in the workplace?

The Mystery of Suri Cruise

FINALLY! SURI CRUISE HAS FINALLY APPEARED! Vanity Fair has a special 22 page issue featuring photos of Suri, Kate, and Mr. Mapother (aka Tom Cruise).

Click here for the article: http://www.vanityfair.com/magazine/pressroom/

But why, oh why, has it taken 4 whole months for this kid to make an appearance? A few theories have been circulating:
1. They needed time to get the baby from overseas and make sure the kid didn't look too distinctly "Asian"
2. Katie was being a "good mom" and shielding her child from the nosey papparrazo
3. There is/was no Suri Cruise

After the gossip rags started reporting that #3 was really the answer to the Suri mystery, all of a sudden celebs only had 3 words to say when asked about the missing member of the Cruise clan: "I've Seen Suri". Check out Penelope Cruz, Leah Remini, and Jada Pinkett Smith's attempts to instill faith in the common people that THERE IS a Suri Cruise.

But lo and behold, the kid has now arrived. Is it real? Is this another publicity stunt? Better yet - does the kid even look like them?

You tell us. Tons of folks are putting the pieces together and stuff just isn't adding up. Check out these links. Tell me what YOU think. Is it a conspiracy? Or are these just 2 good wholesome folks who are trying so hard to stay out of the public's eye, like they've done in the past by jumping on Oprah's yellow leather couches...making public motorcycle appearances....getting engaged after a month of knowing each other....or taking enough pictures to make sure the papparrazi have enough photos for EVERY cover of US Weekly, Star and In Touch magazine.

The strangeness continues to surround Suri Cruise:

Birth Certificate Oddities - http://www.tmz.com/2006/07/10/exclusive-suri-cruise-birth-certificate/

Suri's First Poop Gets Bronzed - http://www.caplakesting.com/danedwards/index.htm

She must be the biggest non-celebrity of our time!

Is It Okay To Mix Church & Politics?

Everytime I attend a new church, I am surprised at how many pastors speak about political issues during their sermon, such as the war in Iraq, the faults of the President, and the direction the nation is headed politcally. Even when I think there might be one instance where a pastor doesn't hit on any of these issues, it always comes out near the end of their sermon.

This begs the question - Is it okay to mix church & politics?

Click Here for Article


In this article, a megachurch pastor spoke against the conservative politics that his town upholds, and therefore lost a significant number of his congregation because they felt he should hold the same conservative views that they do.

What "got me" in this article is that so many pastors of Megachurches are approached by political leaders to endorse their views. So, sometimes the message that you get a church may be not of your pastor's, but of the politicians he aligns himself with.

When you think of the influence that Megachurches have, is it any wonder that they are approached in this manner? Men such as Creflo Dollar, Eddie Long, Charles Stanley, and Joel Osteen have huge audiences who hang on their every word -- and rightfully so sometimes.

But when a pastor begins speaking about political matters, how can you tell whether his words are spiritual in nature or driven by politicians?



In your opinion, is it okay to mix Church & Politics?

Or better yet, is it the church's responsibility to lead its followers in all ways, including politically?

Does Breastfeeding Offend You?

Does this offend you?



This Baby Talk magazine cover offended quite a few women. Some reasons were:

1) A boob is sexual, and I don't want my sons/husband seeing it
2) It's gross to see
3) It should be a private thing between mother & child


Click here for the article.

Even mothers of infant children are disgusted by the cover:
"Gross, I am sick of seeing a baby attached to a boob," wrote Lauren, a mother of a 4-month-old."

One woman rebutted the notion of mandatory breastfeeding in private:
""My kid needed to eat," says the 29-year-old from South Abingdon, Mass. And she wasn't going to go hide in a not-so-clean restroom: "I don't send people to the bathroom when THEY want to eat," she says."

Statistically speaking, the article states that:
"In a survey published in 2004 by the American Dietetic Association, less than half — 43 percent — of 3,719 respondents said women should have the right to breast-feed in public places."

Do you think women should be able to breastfeed wherever they want, or should it be kept strictly private?

Whose opinion matters more - the nursing mothers' or the rest of society who sees them nursing in public?

Keep it real - does it gross you out to see a woman breastfeeding in public?

Check out what other bloggers had to say about this and how other women commented on this issue at www.loxyfady.com !

Sony's New PSP Ads: Are They Racist?

New article from Ad Critic, a media industry publication, on Sony's new PSP ads for the white PSP (play station portable gaming device): Click Here

In the world of media and entertainment, what we see is what we think. Media influences every aspect of our lives from TV to magazines to billboards and radio commercials. So, it's important to consider the implications of any media we consume. How do these ads affect you? Do you get a gut reaction when you see them? Or do you think it's just an ad?


This is the ad that is up in Amsterdam.

Other shots which were taken for the ad are below:



Personally, I think they would've been better off with one of the other shots. Funny enough, the shot with the Black woman clutching the White woman doesn't offend me as much...I almost think they should've gone with that shot because then the ad would show the Black PSP not wanting the White PSP to take its spot...and it's willing to fight for it. That's just one interpretation.

What are yours?

The Non-Right To Vote

  


Due to the election time-period, I thought it'd be appropriate to write about voting. I'm the least politically charged person I know, however I do understand topline issues that take place in our government and that's what I'd like to discuss.

The Voting Rights Act of 1965 was recently renewed in July 2006 which allows for the federal registration of voters in states that had 50% or less registered minority voters, rather than voters being registered by individual state or locally.

Now, the issue comes because minorities do not have a Constitutional or federal right to vote. The Voting Act of 1965 just tries to ensure that minorities won't be discriminated against when registering to vote. Our Caucasian counterparts have an implied right to vote.

I know that I, for one, have not yet voted and it's not because I'm lazy or because I don't want to. The fact is that I applied for my voting card and it was rejected for having a PO Box, which I blindly overlooked. The other reason I haven't voted is because I face an issue that many young potential voters face: I do not know the issues. With all of the voting campaigns bum-rushing the television screens in the month before the election, each candidate seems good and bad at the same time. I wish that each year someone would publish "Voting for Dummies" and outline just the basic lists where I can compare candidates.

But the truth of the matter is that candidates' past voting records are all in flux because of other surrounding political issues. For example, one candidate may vote against the right to an abortion, not because or moral issues, but because if they do that, then someone else may have promised them their vote on another bill. All of the corruption surrounding elections, as evident with candidates stealing monies for their personal campaigns, I just don't know if there really is a good candidate for any office. But, if I don't vote, I basically feel like I've neglected my duty to voice my opinion, especially since 40 years ago African-Americans and other minorities were not permitted to vote at all.

So, I think it's up to us to inform each other about the facts, or what's left of them, when these critical election periods arise. I can't "Rock the Vote" if I have no idea what or whom I'm voting for. When I read a brief op-ed article on Why We Need The Constitutional Right to Vote, a movement largely led by Rev. Jesse Jackson, I realized that:

1. I need to vote while I'm still allowed and
2. If I'm confused on who to vote for, I'm sure others are too and it's up to me to find out as much info as I can and share the unadulterated, organic facts with others before these election periods arise.

Does anyone else out there feel that they need help when it comes to voting? Is this something that affects young people, all people, or just minorities?

Not sure if anyone will respond to this one, but I just wanted to voice a few thoughts I had been having.

Emergency Contraception: To Prescribe or Not?

WWRT reader Karen sent us an email newsletter with this article in it (Thanks, Karen!).


Article Here: Link to Washington Post Article


This article talks about a 42 year old woman who felt forced to have an abortion because her doctor would not prescribe her an emergency contraceptive, otherwise known as the "Plan B" pill. While abortion is a divided issue, contraception overall is not. However, if emergency contraception is truly contraception, why would doctors forgo prescribing it to a patient? I guess in some respects, it's seen as an immediate abortion, although when a patient takes the conctraception, she does not know whether she is pregnant or not because the pill has to be taken within 72 hours of unprotected intercourse in order to be most effective.

Is emergency contraception the new abortion? Should doctors be allowed to not prescribe it based on individual discretion, or should all doctors be held to prescribe it to women in need?

What do YOU think? (Don't forget to read the article. It's an interesting story.)

Star Jones Reynolds: The Great Debate

Though the Star Jones Reynolds vs. Barbara Walters fight is "oh so last week," a colleauge of mine reopened this can of worms for me with a fresh perspective on Star's departure and Barbara's dealings with it.

My friend said that it's the typical minority woman's struggle. If she demands what she deserves career-wise, she's seen as a bitch. If she doesn't, then she never gets what she's due.

This sparks "The Great Debate":
Was Star ousted partly because she was a demanding, successful minority woman?

SPEAK UP! This issue affects us all, and if professional minority women continue to face this "trap", we have to discuss how we can overcome it and get the success we all deserve!

If you missed Barbara's announcement about Star leaving the view, check it out here.

Check out Star's response to the rift between her and Barbara on The Today Show.

Something New (The Movie): Is It Really Possible?

If you've seen the movie (now on DVD) "Something New", I hope you can identify with this post. As a sucker for romantic comedies, I was completely engrossed in the movie all the way to the end. A+ on my scale because it had it all: a successful career-focused woman, the adventurous underdog of a white guy (who happened to be extremely cute), the successful power-driven black guy, and enough sexual repression and tension to spark a wildfire that would put Smokey the Bear in retirement.

So, after explaining why I loved the movie to a friend, he told me that what happened in the movie is just too unrealistic because no successful African-American woman would ever go for a struggling, "granola" (his words) white guy with a non-professional job. Period.

I begged to differ, of course, but when he asked for examples, I came up short. So, my question to you all is this:

Do you think it's possible for a successful, career-driven woman to date a non-professional, adventerous guy who makes significantly less money than she does?

On thinking further about the money difference, I just remembered that Simon Baker was an architectural landscaper and did work for million-dollar homes (the parents of the chick who set him and Sanaa up). So, maybe he wasn't so "granola" after all. :)

Speak up! Do professionals only date other success-driven professionals? Or is there still a chance that any of us could experience "something new"?

Tags: Something New, Trailer & Clips, Simon Baker, Sanaa Lathan, Blair Underwood, Alfre Woodard, Mike Epps, Donald Faison

Can women really run the world?

With the lack of any good, pertinent articles to discuss, I've decided to raise an issue that I think is pertinent to all of our lives: Can women really run the world? In the latest Marie Claire, Julia Stiles talks about the 10 hardest things she's learned. The one that intrigued me most was: #4 - "If women could channel all the time and energy they spend on diets and food issues into something else, we'd be running the world. Or maybe I'm crazy."(click here for the article)

When I read this, it threw me off for a second. I guess I had just imagined these words coming from someone with a less-than-airbrushed blonde-haired, blue-eyed size 2 bombshell who's on the front cover of one of the country's most popular women's magazines. But maybe that's just me. Regardless, she does bring up a good point.

Yesterday, I turned on Oprah and saw that they were giving a young African-American woman help with her eyebrows. They even had the world-famous Anastasia come on the show and do this woman's eyebrows in front of the audience. The only thing I could think of was "Are we more concerned about plucking, pulling, relaxing, doing other things to our body than we are about world issues or even national issues (e.g. Hurricane danger, Afghanistan's exponentially increasing death toll, etc.)?"

In Oprah magazine's latest issue, there's a great article about how women in Sweden (I think it's Sweden)are ususally the breadwinners and the men stay home to raise the kids. They have a better maternity leave and women are more abrasive than those in the U.S. due to their wish to keep the balance of power equal to that of men (i.e. many women refuse the men if they try to pay for a date, etc.).

Women abroad are running their countries, but is it possible for American women to do the same? Or do we have more of power struggle due to the acts of chivalry and male-domination that has ruled this country since Washington was president?

Are women are still hitting the "glass ceiling" or is there a chance for us to really have equal access to the same positions and power as men?

Daddy Issues That Affect Your Career

It's crazy to think that the type of father you had could affect your success in the workplace, but this article does bring up some interesting points about how this could be possible. In a new book called "The Father Factor" by Stephan Poulter, it discusses how children of a certain type of father may be able to use their childhood experiences to their advantage in their career. For example, if you had an explosive father, you'll be better at reading people's moods which could help you be sensitive to your boss and co-workers. Or, if you had an absentee father, you're probably more inclined to be an over-achiever...to do more than your father ever did.



Read this article (it's short and interesting): Click Here

What type of father did/do you have?

Do you think you can attribute any of your successful or unsuccessful work behaviors to him?

This is a great topic and I can't wait to see your comments!

Choosing the Sex of Your Baby: Have We Gone Too Far?

Click Here for Article
Today's article talks about the new craze of foreigners flocking to the U.S. to choose the sex of their next baby. It's called "pre-implantation genetic diagnosis", and for $19,000 you too can choose the sex of your baby with 99% accuracy. However, this phenomenon brings up lots of issues, such as whether choosing your baby's sex will lead us to creating "designer babies" where you can choose their hair and eye color as well. Just like you'd customize your new car, you could customize your baby. In essence, cloning people could become a mass-production nightmare. Also, this phenomenon could create gender imbalance and an underclass of people who cannot afford to create the perfect child.

I believe that God's natural selection for the sex of your baby is the only way for it to be chosen. There's a reason why it's taken us 2000 years to figure out this technology...maybe it's not supposed to be figured out. I would be more supportive of this technology if it was used to generate medically helpful advances, but seeing that people are simply wanting a girl rather than a boy is unacceptable.

With pre-implantation genetic diagnosis, are we playing God or is this a new technology that can lead to more satisfying lives due to your ability to create the family balance that you want?

Speak up!

Can Typically "Forbidden" Relationships Work?

What's the best relationship advice? "Don't get any". I heard that from a friend's mom, and basically it means that when you're looking for answers in your relationship, only look to yourself...not others. Other people have their own biases and mindsets about relationships that may not fit with yours.

Questions:
What do you do when a relationship is typically "forbidden" by society, such as interracial relationships, one-night stands that turn into long-term relationships, and relationships where there's a huge age difference? Can they work?

Check out this article where typically "forbidden" relationships have worked out for the better.

What do you think? I know in the "Interracial Dating" post, many people had comments on people's mindsets regarding this (scroll down the right hand side of this blog to find the Interracial Dating post...it's under "Previous Posts").

Do you know of any stories where a typically "forbidden" relationship has worked out? What are the struggles that it presented?
- Long Distance
- Interracial
- Big Age Difference (older + younger person dating)
- Class Differences (blue collar + white collar dating)
- Same gender

SPEAK UP!
Billy Joel, 55, and 23 year old wife, Katie Lee

Dave Chappelle with wife and child



Other Articles on Dating:
Dating in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s
Why More Black Women are Dating White Men
5 Guys Every Girl Has To Date
5 Secrets of Successful Long Distance Relationships

To send this post to a friend, click the envelope icon at the bottom of this post.

Rap Wars: When Will Rappers Get a Clue?

I'm half-asleep right now, but I wanted to get this off my chest since yesterday. As I drove into work yesterday, I heard on the radio that T.I.'s crew was involved in a high speed chase and one of T.I.'s crew members, his personal assistant, was killed (Click here for article).

At first, I thought "That's terrible." Then, I thought, "Didn't that dude from Eminem's group D12 get killed a week ago?" It's sad that now when we hear that a rapper has died, we immediately refer to the other rappers who've died.

I mean, you think people would get a clue that death is REAL...it's the end of that person's earthly existence forever. Not to sound morbid, but it seems that today's "wanna be thugs" or "true life thugs" think only about how tough they feel with a gun, but they don't think about how it'd feel to know that your last breaths were on their way out of your body.

So, with the deaths of Biggie, Tupac, D12 dude (cause I don't know his name), T.I.'s personal assistant, and others, when will these rappers get a clue and get hyped about LIFE, not death?

Is this nation doomed to lose more and more young men to violence due to how sexy rap music has made it? Or is this just a demonstration of how 'ignant (ignorant) folks can be?

What do you think?

Mother-Daughter Relationships: Giving Our Moms The Thanks They Deserve

In honor of Mother's Day, which is quickly approaching on May 14th, here's an article about how to mend Mother-Daughter relationships (a short, good read for everyone!): Click Here for Article

This past weekend, a mother who is a friend of my family told me that every mother lives through her daughter. I asked her why this was, and she basically told me that as daughters, we are given the opportunity to do what our mother's wish they had done in their youth. Because our mothers identify so strongly with their daughters, in some shape, form, or fashion, their urging us to do certain things can irk the living heck out of us...at times. But we still love them and they still did a great job with all of us.

So, in honor of Mother's Day, let's give a little thanks to all of our Moms...give a shout out to your Mom on our comment board saying "Mom, thanks for...." and then send your post to your Mom BEFORE Mother's Day, whether handwritten or in an email. It's always nice to get a note of gratitude, especially for a job that doesn't get a lot of thanks...don't you think?

I hope everyone can at least give 1 note of thanks to your mom. I'll start!

Can Men and Women Really Be Just Friends?

It's an age old question: can men and women can just be friends? Often times I hear women say that they have more male friend than female friends. Sometimes, it's because they never really liked how catty women can be. Other times, it's because they were tomboys as kids and they had more in common with guys rather than with girls.

But can they be JUST friends? If you have a lot of male friends, I bet you could count on one hand how many of them are unattractive. That's because there is some baseline attraction between all men and women who sustain a friendship...even if the attraction is simply you thinking your friend could be attractive to other women. He's still attractive.

So, if men and women who are friends are attracted to each other in some small way, can you keep male friends once you're in a relationship? How opposite sex friends affect a relationship?

I'd love to hear stories about whether you have any male friends and whether there is any level of attraction to them. How do you handle it? Is it appropriate when you're in a relationship?

Check out what other people have said about this subject: Click Here for Link

Can women really have it all? Do you?

Great article about women wanting to have it all: Click Here For Article

The article discusses women being advised that they CAN'T have it all. Check it out:

''Yes, you could do it all, but you will have a nervous breakdown."

As professional women, we all strive to do the best we can with the skills that we have. But when it comes to family, career, "me time" and the much needed "girlfriend time", can women really have it all?

Is it the same choice for men?

Is It Too Soon For "Flight 93: The Movie"?

Sept. 11
Flight 93, the movie, will be released in theaters nationwide this Friday. But is it too soon for a movie about such a tragic event in recent U.S. history?
Click here for the article
The articles notes:

Yes, depictions of 9/11 still dredge up emotions that are difficult to bear. But the process of framing and reframing the tragedy is vital to our healing. We will relive 9/11 anyway, in our nightmares. The best defense is to face it head-on.

Is it too soon to do a movie about Flight 93?

What are your thoughts?

P.S. For me, it's still too soon...-L

To Perm or Not to Perm: Does the Workplace Decide?

Hi all! Happy Monday! Here's a great article from Diversity, Inc. on perming your hair for the workplace (sent by What Women Really Think reader Teka -- Thanks!). Click here for article.


We all know that dreads, afros, and braids are less common in corporate America than straight hair. Some people think that any hairstyle is fine for the workplace, but in my experience in corporate America, women who have "alternative" hairstyles are the exception, not the norm. This is because as a Black woman, we have to blend in order to be taken as a serious professional. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying what my experience has been. Take this quote from the article:

"I've gone out of my way to make sure my hair is not representative of a stereotypical image," says Cantlo. "If a white girl came to work with a Mohawk, you would think she is not professional. So [wearing straight hair] is not a standard of beauty, it's a standard of professionalism."

Is it less professional to wear braids, twists, or dreads at work?

Do you straighten your hair to seem more professional or do you do it for beauty?

SPEAK UP!

NEWSFLASH: 2nd Stripper In Duke Rape Case Speaks Up!

New Article sent from What Women Really Think reader F.J. (Thanks for your contribution!): Click here for NY Times article

The 2nd Stripper in the Duke rape case said she initially doubted that her stripper friend was raped. Here's what she said: "I was not in the bathroom when it happened, so I can't say a rape occurred — and I never will."

What the HECK is going on?!?! Obviously the strippers weren't good friends, otherwise she would've had her back. So, again, what the HECK was the 1st stripper doing at a party, unprotected, with a chick who didn't even have her back if stuff went down?

Is it still a racially motivated rape case, or is it a case of a woman trying to get paid quicker than taking off her clothes on a Friday night?!

Interracial Dating: Have We Really Accepted It, or Are We Just Being P.C.?

A great article in the Chicago Sun Times posed questions to women who were currently involved in or had been involved in interracial relationships. These women speak candidly about their struggles and people's perceptions of their relationships.
Click Here for Sun Times Article

Here's a typical scenario that occurs in today's time:

You see a Black guy with a White woman and IMMEDIATELY a few thoughts pop into your head -- either:
1. Why is he with her?
2. He's ugly anyway, so no love lost there.
3. Mmm...who got the better end of THAT deal?

The same goes for a White guy with a Black woman, except you think:
1. Damn, they're a cute couple.
2. She lost out on that one.
3. They must be European or she must've grown up around all White people.

Oddly enough, the same scenarios don't occur when we see other interracial couples, such as an Asian man with an Indian woman, or a Latina woman with an Irish man (I would guess because we're probably not attracted to these men/women -- i mean, a hottie is a hottie, but a regular person isn't worth the brain power).

Quote from Wikipedia on Interracial Marriages:
Black men are 2.5 times more likely to be married to a white spouse and 3.3 times more likely to be cohabitating with a white person, as compared to their black female counterparts. Research yields that 7% of married black men are with white wives and 15% of black men cohabit with white women.

With the huge increase in interracial couples, have we really come a long way as a society and learned to accept the couples for their personal choice to be together?

Or do you still think that, if possible, people should find someone in their own race to marry?

Do you feel like you can truly be YOURSELF -- your full ethnic self, whatever that is -- when you're with your boyfriends?

Thoughts, anyone?

If you're in an interracial relationship, are the product of an interracial relationship, or have an opinion about interracial relationships, SPEAK UP!

Are Strippers Who Are Raped Really Protected Under The Law?

2 Duke Lacrosse players, Collin Finnerty and Reade Seligmann, have been arrested and charged with raping and kidnapping a stripper at an off-campus house party. Now a 3rd suspect may be charged as well. This issue has sparked many racial, wealth/class, and social stigma debate.
Click Here for Article.



On March 14, 2006 two African-American women were hired to dance at a party by the Duke University Men's Lacrosse team. One of these African-American women was allegedly raped,sodomized, and racially terrorized by 3 white members of the Duke University Men's Lacrosse team. The stripper who brought the claim is a 27 year old student at a nearby college and is also the mother of 2 children. All but 1 of the 47 lacrosse players are white.

Collin Finnerty and Reade Seligmann are both from upper class, wealthy families and attended prep schools. The black woman is probably struggling to get by. Collin Finnerty has been previously charged with assaulting a man in Washington, D.C. and calling him gay and derogatory names.Other Lacrosse team members has previously been arrested for underage drinking and public urination, however neither Finnerty or Seligmann were among those arrested.

Currently, Finnerty and Seligmann have been released on a $400,000 bail and await trial.

The questions that no one is asking but everyone wants to talk about are:
1. Can a stripper accuse someone of rape when she knowingly goes to a party to perform and sexually arouse numerous men?

2. Do strippers really get the full benefit of the law when their "career" has a social stigma attached to it?

3. Do you think race and wealth really affect the outcome of this case?

Or is this issue part of a much bigger problem, mainly the way black women are portrayed as super sexually-charged erotic beings in entertainment (music videos, movies, etc.)?
Click here for article discussing this issue

What do YOU think?

Krista Summit of Durham, N.C., created a blog called“Justice 4 Two Sisters” that covers everything that's been happening in the case from a local point of view, including Jesse Jackson's organization offering to pay for the accuser to finish her to finish school. Check it out for more info.

Whitney Houston: What's really going on?

Click here for full article

So, here's an article that says Whitney's sister-in-law, Tina Brown, is blabbing on how nasty Whitney's bathroom is and how she's still doing drugs daily.

Quote from the article:

Tina Brown, who last week confessed to the tabloid that she did crack with Houston, said the Grammy-winning singer has lesbian affairs, chases men around her house and locks herself away for hours with a vast collection of sex toys when she’s high on drugs.

The "What Happened to Whitney" stories never cease to end. For me, who was an avid fan of Whitney's since I was young (for my senior graduation speech, I sang her song in front of the whole school - I'm talking about I was really a HUGE fan), she was my singing "idol" (I used that term loosely). I loved how her voice was so rich and strong, and how she was so beautiful. She had it all: spunk. soul. class. style.

So, what happened to Whitney? Another little secret is that I have met Whitney and worked with her over the course of some months on the Being Bobby Brown show. And what working with her taught me is that people are human, feelings are real, and everybody falls down sometimes.

What if chocolate was a drug. You know where to get it, you've tasted it before, and you know if you have 1 little bite of chocolate, it wouldn't hurt you that badly. Would you take the bite, after having been a chocolate lover for some time? Or quit cold turkey? With it being so easy to get and in your face at every restaurant, every grocery store, everywhere you turn, could you simply ignore it?

People are always knocking Whitney down, but I support her efforts at rehab. And all these naysayers and dirty talkers who continue to blab to the National Enquirer just to make some cash on the side need to be kicked out of her life. They don't help. They only hurt.

I mean, what I think really happened to Whitney is that she's tired of being confined to a perception of who people THINK she should be and who she REALLY IS. Clive Davis, society, movie goers, fans of her music, etc. They all have an image of who Whitney is to them in their heads, and she has to fulfill that image every day. I think she just got tired of it and rebelled. I just think her rebellion went too far, and it became a slippery slope and now she's constantly fighting an uphill battle that society, fans, and family continually try to push her back down.

Do you agree? Or do you think she's just a lost cause? There was once a Whitney Houston that was judged only by her voice and beauty, and not for her personal problems. Who says it's our right to even comment on her personal life? Would we like it if people knew EVERYTHING about our own personal life and felt entitled to comment?

Talk about it, ya'll. It's real.

Who's Heard of Post-nups?

This article was sent to the Whatwomenreallythink@gmail.com account, and I think it has room for a lot of debate. It talks about the new phenomenon of married couples creating Post-Nups, rather than Pre-nups. Here's an excerpt from the article (Click here for full article):

"I've seen a pickup in post-nups. They're much more popular," said Cynthia Rubin, a partner at Flemming Zulack Williamson Zauderer in New York. Rubin said most of the clients she's done post-nups for are successful women working in investment banking or corporate law who, upon deciding to leave the workforce to raise kids, are looking for financial security to compensate for the loss they'll be taking when they stop work for a few years."

But, who wants a "Nup" at all? If you get married, I think that's agreement enough: it's before God, your friends and family, and it's an agreement you've made with yourself to stick it out through thick and thin.

Some people think that it's better to get a pre-nup or post-nup if there's a huge gap between income and asset levels of the couples. Others think that money and assets should be part of the package deal when you get married. I've even heard people say that it's better to agree to the assets and financial award in the event of a divorce BEFOREHAND while you still like/love each other...that way, you get the best deal possible.

What do you guys think? Are you for a pre-nup or post-nup? Better yet, are YOU going to get one before or after YOU'RE married? That's the real question.

Denzel, Halle, & Jamie: Do Black Actors Win Awards for Playing Stereotypes?

Found this on Diversity Inc.'s website: Link to Article Here

Black actors and actresses have made their presence known on the silver screen and among their peers, particularly in the past decade. But does it help or hurt these talented actors to win for such roles?

Syndicated columnist and National Public Radio commentator Deborah Mathis wonders why black actors and actresses in stereotypical roles get awards while the more "nuanced performances go unrecognized."

Mathis says some of the high points for the entertainment industry have been the Academy of Motion Pictures' nods to black actors such as Sidney Poitier and Jamie Foxx. The roles which earned Oscars for Halle Berry, Denzel Washington and even Hattie McDaniel, in her opinion, are questionable. The most recent example of this is Three 6 Mafia's Oscar for their song to "It's Hard out Here for A Pimp" from the movie "Hustle & Flow."

"Awarding 'It's Hard Out Here for Pimp' is regression," says Mathis. "It makes me wonder if stereotype portrayals might be the surest way for a black artist to win. The music has a hook to it but it's pretty monotonous, and the lyrics … mercy. All I can say is it's hard out here for a listener. This song … doesn't even raise 'pimp' to its modern level, which is a term of art, if you will, for anyone who is making it."

Mathis says the song is "replete with invectives" and wonders if the song won because the academy wanted to "keep up its image of being inclusive."

"In their minds you don't get any blacker than talking about the low-down gritty hustle," she says. "I've got a favor to ask the Academy: Don't do us any more favors. Don't strain yourself to award black artists. We'd rather wait until it's really something that blows your mind, something that really does honor to the craft. And by the way, you'll find plenty of that if you look beyond the mammy's, crooked cops and the emotional cripples."
____________

Here's my thing:

If the Black actors don't play stereotypical roles that Hollywood has written for them, does it force Hollywood to rewrite Black roles or does it put Black actors out of work?

Do they just sacrifice their career or do they accept Hollywood's terms until they become a superstar and can change things?

Speak up!

BREAKING NEWS: RUSSELL SIMMONS WANTS TO RECONCILE!

Article here:
http:http://people.aol.com/people/articles/0,19736,1179883,00.html

Okay, so WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?! Is he with her or not?! Like who IS this other chick?! Check out her headshot here: Photo here

Some folks are saying that they secretly love Kimora, and some folks are hatin' her.

But be real -- we ALL knew she was WAY too good looking for little Russell! Can someone keep it real, please?!

Make your voice heard right here, right now!

Video: What is the World Coming To?

I got this video from a friend yesterday...I almost cried! What is the world coming to?

Check out how Black and White people, Couples and Singles, and everyone else react to a staging of a child abduction with a real little girl and an actor playing her abductor.

You won't BELIEVE who did what!

Are you shocked?!?! I was.

Click Here for the MSNBC 4 minute Video:

Health: "How to Select a Fitness Program"

Okay, ladies...I know we're all busy, but summer is nearing which and that means we need to jumpstart our workout routines now!

Sleeveless shirts, skirts, shorts, and for some of you old-schoolers, skorts, are breaking out across the nation. Thankfully we still have time to get toned, get fit, and get whipped on our workouts.

First, we all need to select a fitness program that works for us. Early mornings, after work, or on the weekends? Group exercise or individual?

This article will help you determine what's best for you.

So let's do it! If you'd like an "accountability partner", speak up on the comment section! We're all here to help each other achieve our goals. :-)

Click here for the article:
health.msn.com/fitness/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100110485

Career: "5 Signs It's Time to Find a New Job"

Suze Orman, goddess of all things financial, has written a great article that lists 5 signs that should urge you to find a new gig. But how many of us are willing to quit a job just because we're unhappy? It seems like a bigger step than just figuring out if you have the 5 signs or not.


How can we pursue the things that make us happiest without giving up a good paying job?

Any ideas?

Check out the article here:

finance.yahoo.com/columnist/article/moneymatters/2388

Commitment: "Marriage is for White People"

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/25/AR2006032500029.html

This article discusses the fact that marraige rates for African-American people has on a steady decline since the 1960s, and now sex, love, and having children are seen more as an "a la carte" deal rather than going hand-in-hand.

What's happened? Have Black women become more self-sufficient and therefore don't see the need to be married? Or have Black men become jaded by the idea of independent, self-sufficient "I don't need a man" type Black women? Or are both parties unwilling to make the necessary sacrifices for a good marriage?

Is marriage really just for White people?