Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Interracial Dating: Have We Really Accepted It, or Are We Just Being P.C.?



A great article in the Chicago Sun Times posed questions to women who were currently involved in or had been involved in interracial relationships. These women speak candidly about their struggles and people's perceptions of their relationships.
Click Here for Sun Times Article


Here's a typical scenario that occurs in today's time:

You see a Black guy with a White woman and IMMEDIATELY a few thoughts pop into your head -- either:
1. Why is he with her?
2. He's ugly anyway, so no love lost there.
3. Mmm...who got the better end of THAT deal?

The same goes for a White guy with a Black woman, except you think:
1. Damn, they're a cute couple.
2. She lost out on that one.
3. They must be European or she must've grown up around all White people.

Oddly enough, the same scenarios don't occur when we see other interracial couples, such as an Asian man with an Indian woman, or a Latina woman with an Irish man (I would guess because we're probably not attracted to these men/women -- i mean, a hottie is a hottie, but a regular person isn't worth the brain power).

Quote from Wikipedia on Interracial Marriages:
Black men are 2.5 times more likely to be married to a white spouse and 3.3 times more likely to be cohabitating with a white person, as compared to their black female counterparts. Research yields that 7% of married black men are with white wives and 15% of black men cohabit with white women.


With the huge increase in interracial couples, have we really come a long way as a society and learned to accept the couples for their personal choice to be together?

Or do you still think that, if possible, people should find someone in their own race to marry?

Do you feel like you can truly be YOURSELF -- your full ethnic self, whatever that is -- when you're with your boyfriends?

Thoughts, anyone?

If you're in an interracial relationship, are the product of an interracial relationship, or have an opinion about interracial relationships, SPEAK UP!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I dont know how I feel about interracial couples because sometimes I do not know if what I am thinking is really what I am thinking or what society tells me to think -- you know what I mean?!? I mean, we all get excited when we see Will and Jada (the CUTEST couple like ever!!!!) or Britney and her man troubles -- but I honestly cant think of a mainstream interracial couple that we all know and love (Note: I do not count J-Lo and Puffy because I consider J-Lo to be both black and puerto rican because she used to be on In Livin Color). Aside from the couple on the Jeffersons, can anyone even think of an interracial couple on tv whose sole purpose wasnt to shock or highlight that fact that the couple is interracial?!?!? Even in one of my favoirte shows, Lost, the interracial couple just seems so artifical and put there just to be interracial. Like when they first found the white husband on the other side of the island, I couldnt tell if the shock was that the husband was alive or that he was white!!! What do you all think???

Anonymous said...

Okay, what about Seal and Heidi Klum (they seem TRULY in love because he ain't cute and she's a pretty attractive woman)....Taye Diggs and his wife Adina, and Robert DeNiro and his Black wife (have never seen a pic of her, tho).

SO, I'd say the BEST example of an interracial couple that isn't in it for the shock factor is Seal and Heidi Klum. You know why? Because they stay OUT of the limelight and tabloids if at all possible. Only when Heidi was pregnant and gave birth did their names pop up. They just wanna be together.

I think interracial couples is cool if they're really in love...if it's a preference thing, that's fine too. but if they're in it only to SHOCK folks, that's sad. What if it's a really cute guy dating a trashy girl (or vice versa) and they're an interracial couple? Still okay? For example, Kevin Federline (trashy) and Shar Jackson (kinda trashy, but not as much)?

Anonymous said...

I am not overly concerned with other people's personal and private lives. I must say that sure, I'll scratch my head in wonder when I see ANY overly attractive person with an "ugly" one. I think for myself *personally* I keep it in the ""family"".

Anonymous said...

Folks....I could really talk about this all day! But I will try to keep it short and sweet.
I am a very proud Puerto Rican woman, who has dated several men of a variety of ethnic backgrounds (Dominican, Puerto Rican, White, Korean, Bi-racial and Black). I think that growing up on a military base with thousands of interracial couples and bi-racial children really gave me the advantage of being comfortable around anyone. I have a strong appreciation of culture in general...even if it is not my own. It wasn't until I went to college and then moved to Atlanta that I experienced the negativity of others when they saw me dating a black man (in college and currently). I was very disspointed and saddened by the fact that people (mostly black women) will pass judgements on me for dating a black man. It is not just the snickers and comments of strangers that pass by us when we walk together..it is the comments of people close to me that upset me as well. Things like "he just likes you because you are light skinned and have good hair" or "he is with you because Latina women are the new fad" and even "well, you are close enough to being black so it doesn't matter". Frankly, I just ignore people most of the time because honestly some people really just don't know any better. But boy do I get TIRED of hearing these things!
Yes, I do agree that some folks date people of other races to for the shock value. It really sucks that they take the joy from others who do it out of love.
It takes a deep understanding, strong commitment and strong sense of self to be a part of an interracial relationship. My beautiful black boyfriend appreciates me for everyhing that I am...including my culture. I do the same for him. We take the time to teach each other and learn things about our cultures and family traditions. Our families make the effort to do the same.
The bottom line is that we are happy. So why can't others be happy for us?
I mean...the world is really changing folks. Interracial couples and bi-racial children will soon be a majority. Get over the negativity and learn to live with change. (this comment is not being directed to anyone in particular)

Lori said...

Because it's more INTERESTING! I mean, the news depresses me...personally speaking. I do watch some world news, but I'd rather get it online at MSN.com or yahoo.com. That way I can filter what I don't want to see, and I can keep up with topline info.

People are just bored and would rather focus on others than on what brings them their own happiness. That's why any 1 person gets in any other person's business...think about it. :-)

Anonymous said...

I am a Latino woman who was married to a Black man for 22 years. We have three grown beautiful children. I experienced racism in my own family as my father and brother refused to see me or speak to me. Over a period of time, they came around and eventually learned to accept us all and even apologized for their ignorance.

We are no longer married but remain good friends and speak almost daily. I have dated other races but am currently in a relationship with a Black man again. For me, it's not about shock value, it's about my life...my love. It's about how I'm treated. It's about how well he relates with my children and they him. It's about the things we like to do and the things we like to talk about. It's not something I put radar out for, it just happened.

It's cliche to say that I'd like for people to give everyone a chance based on merit rather than color, but it probably won't happen. All we can do is affect our personal world and maybe that'll bleed out to others.

Unknown said...

Yes, I am really in an interracial relationship with a guy outside of my race. oh,,,, guys, you can not image what I have met. I am a black cuttie girl and I just met my love half year ago and we will get married next month, and interracial love of course. Am I lucky? So lucky I think, and I wanna share my happiness with all of you here.

By the way, I found my half part baby on a great interrachats site. He is really gorgeous, even sometimes he is a little shy. -:) If you try InterracialMatch.com, you also can be the next lucky one. LOL. Bye!! and good luck to you all.

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