Questions:
What do you do when a relationship is typically "forbidden" by society, such as interracial relationships, one-night stands that turn into long-term relationships, and relationships where there's a huge age difference? Can they work?
Check out this article where typically "forbidden" relationships have worked out for the better.
What do you think? I know in the "Interracial Dating" post, many people had comments on people's mindsets regarding this (scroll down the right hand side of this blog to find the Interracial Dating post...it's under "Previous Posts").
Do you know of any stories where a typically "forbidden" relationship has worked out? What are the struggles that it presented?
- Long Distance
- Interracial
- Big Age Difference (older + younger person dating)
- Class Differences (blue collar + white collar dating)
- Same gender
SPEAK UP!
Billy Joel, 55, and 23 year old wife, Katie Lee
Dave Chappelle with wife and child
Other Articles on Dating:
Dating in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s
Why More Black Women are Dating White Men
5 Guys Every Girl Has To Date
5 Secrets of Successful Long Distance Relationships
To send this post to a friend, click the envelope icon at the bottom of this post.
Posts
17 comments:
Times are changing and allowing the "forbidden" to become more of the norm. These days, you don't know who has mixed races in their families or who is a product of a bi-racial relationship, so you have to be careful not to offend.I think it will help to decrease racism. A friend found out after 15 years that her black ex-boyfriend had caucasian parents...ooops! I'm sure she had some unknowing hoof-in-mouth situations.
I had a case of jungle fever in college for 2 years. I'm Black and he was Philipino/Spanish and foooiinnee!!! Some of my ex boyfriend's roomates and friends had a hard time with it. One finally pointed out that the problem that society had with us was the physical difference in color..."the shock factor". I didn't care at the time. There were other challenges with black people...guys who verbalized their anger at me in public because I chose to date outside the race. Our relationship ended because we had problems unrelated to race but maybe more towards age...17 me/25 him.
For lasting success...Iman and David are surviving, Terrence Howard and the list goes on. However, I watched my Tyra tapes from last week. She had interviewed Celine Dion (born 1968). Celine is with the "love of her life", René Angélil (born 1942) (HER MANAGER from childhood!!!!). Now, why hasn't the po-po beat down his door...???$$$ Perhaps money and fame, the right publicist, discretion? (Could money and fame be why Tom Cruise and others can rob the cradle and it not be forbidden? or is it double standards that men can do it??? Demi has gotten some flack with Ashton until they did a SNL spoof to break the ice.) Back to Celine - in my opinion, her publicist, her own discretion, and highly optimistic attitude have preserved her and the relationship.
...then there's always Whitney and Bobby :) Before you knock em, remember they overcame class & age differences, critics, and thus far have made it work out.
Any relationship can work. Just have to be willing to count the cost, overcome the challenges, and just stay together if you choose.
Well I myself have had several of these forbidden relationships, especially ones my family did not approve of. I have had an interacial relationship, age differences, long-distances, and one nighters that last a long time, and even class issues. In all of my experience I guess they can work out, and it really depends on the people. The people in the relationship have to deterimie weahther or not they are going to over come thier differences.
My relationships at time did end due to the forbiddeness of our relationships, such as class, and age. As far as race some of those barries are hard to overcome, but I realized I love black men. That not to say I won't date outside of my race.
My family had a strong role in some of those break-ups, but if people can over come the barriers that society has put up then those relationships have a chance to last. I feel they work out better than most other relationships because they create their own rules. People can miss out on someone terrific because they of the hidden forbidden rules of society. My advice would be don't let others dictate your relationship, and give everyone a fair chance no matter the difference, because you never know.
contrary to popular belief, relationships are not remote islands, but one of many threads that are interwoven with society to form our lives ... the truth of the matter is that "forbidden" relationships rarely work and almost always end badly for the people involved because of society's reaction to them .... so while we can all name one or two exceptions, the rule is white people do not marry black people ... and when they do, it almost never works out ... i mean, think about all the biracial, real world relationships that you know of ... and how many of them have actually endured?!?!? unfortunately society dictates many of the rules that ultimately govern our lives ... and to be honest these rules are often in place to protect those of us who are bad decision makers ... so interracial relationships are frowned upon because few people have the strength of character and fortitude to endure the snide remarks or to raise biracial children who do not have those silly "identity" issues where they want to be one thing, but society looks at them and sees another ... but the person doesnt want to accept society's characterization ... recall the census dispute about marking "interracial" and how that faded into the background ... point being ... people need to listen to other people and play by the rules, because they are there for a reason ... unless you feel that there are strong, strong reasons for bucking the trend ... but unfortunately, because most people are terrible decision makers, they buck the trend just to buck, and the result is another messed up relationship or worse, entire family ...
I know an interracial couple that have been married over 20 years and they are still together, and it is my uncle. I know another interracial couple and it is my cousin, and I can keep going with the list of people that I know who have successful interracial relationship and who are not celebrities. Silver dollar, saying that interracial relationship never work is untrue. Relationship is work. Of course if it is a "forbidden: relationship" it is double the work, because one deal with society and family judgement and scrutinizing. But, what people seem to forget is the feelings involved and the reasons, if you are dating somebody for the wrong reasons it is not going to work! Another thing that is important is the upbringing and the environment, of course family is important but one should be strong enough to stand up to their family if the feelings are genuine.
I think one of the main things many people overlook is the effect these types of relationships have on those around us. Part of why they don't always work is because we typically catch a lot of flack from those we care about and it makes for added pressure and conflict. Relationships are difficult, at best...but throw in rejection and confrontation by family or close friends and that just creates resentment, isolation and insecurity. I think the real trick is first, to be sure of what you're doing and what you want. It cannot be an experiment or adventure. Second, conduct the relationship with integrity and honesty. It will always appeal to other people if you and your mate are responsible. And lastly, agree to love one another unconditionally. People may fight you for a while, but if your relationship prevails, others have no choice but to fall in line.
I agree with you, Bernadette. You have to be okay with your relationship FIRST...then other people will have to fall in line. You can't try to convince people that your relationship is right for you...because then they feel they have the liberty to comment and debate your relationship. You have to let your actions speak for themselves.
Also, I think people have to draw the line with their family regarding how much they can impose their own thoughts on you. Sometimes, you just have to tell them "Look, this is who I love. I don't want a discussion about it. Just leave it be." or something to that affect. But I know it's hard with family...they always know how to butt in your life in a sly way.
This topic is simply matchless :), it is interesting to me.
Genial brief and this enter helped me alot in my college assignement. Thanks you as your information.
Howdy,
When ever I surf on web I never forget to visit this website[url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/lose-10-pounds-in-2-weeks-quick-weight-loss-tips].[/url]whatwomenreallythink.blogspot.com really contains lot of useful information. I am sure due to busy scedules we really do not get time to care about our health. Let me present you with one fact here. Recent Research points that about 70% of all United States grownups are either chubby or weighty[url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/lose-10-pounds-in-2-weeks-quick-weight-loss-tips].[/url] Hence if you're one of these individuals, you're not alone. Infact many among us need to lose 10 to 20 lbs once in a while to get sexy and perfect six pack abs. Now next question is how you can achive quick weight loss? [url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/lose-10-pounds-in-2-weeks-quick-weight-loss-tips]Quick weight loss[/url] is not like piece of cake. You need to improve some of you daily habbits to achive weight loss in short span of time.
About me: I am webmaster of [url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/lose-10-pounds-in-2-weeks-quick-weight-loss-tips]Quick weight loss tips[/url]. I am also mentor who can help you lose weight quickly. If you do not want to go under difficult training program than you may also try [url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/acai-berry-for-quick-weight-loss]Acai Berry[/url] or [url=http://www.weightrapidloss.com/colon-cleanse-for-weight-loss]Colon Cleansing[/url] for fast weight loss.
Hi
Very nice and intrestingss story.
This shift is an essential part of my heritage, my mother dressed the bride to be. We attach great importance as being a contemporary Western women, informal, comfortable clothes. These qualities is an important part of what my mother in the bride back with her over the design of experiments to achieve. Nevertheless, we wouldn't escape the moral force in your own day [url=http://www.wdess.com/narrow/beach-destination_v86t0/a-line-wedding-dresses_c5]Beach Wedding Dresses 2013[/url] Luchetti describe our adventure foremothers proposed. As is already evident, an unresolved anxiety of women's bodies and sexual activities through pure wedding dress. When asked whether the slightest bit affect the look and magnificence in their mother's dress, your beloved partner always says: "no." The caretaker of these women deliberately taken the approach of intervention, their daughter's wedding. Nevertheless, their clothes, their bride-to-be trying their mother using their own feminine image, adapted to local. A bride recalls: "My business is the only daughter, I do think my mother's expectations acumen." Another representative pointed out that the [url=http://www.wdess.com/plus-size-wedding-dresses_c27]Plus Size Wedding Dresses 2013[/url], her deceased mother, "I saw a long white wedding gown, is just not too ornate. i'm sure she was very happy."
Heya і'm for the first time here. I found this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and aid others like you aided me.
My site :: pure leverage login
Thankfulness to my father who informed me
on the topic of this web site, this weblog is in fact remarkable.
My homepage http://pa.tchwork.com/wiki/?title=Utilisateur:KristenQU
Hi there, I enjoy reading all of your article post. I like
to write a little comment to support you.
Take a look at my webpage ... cigarettes
Exceptional post however I was wanting to know if you could write a litte more on this topic?
I'd be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit further. Many thanks!
My site e-cigz
Also known as eczema, this skin condition may appear or
worsen during pregnancy. Once you do, you will know which type of remover to
buy that will not irritate your skin. Click
OK and wait a second or two for the effect to be applied.
My blog post - pictures of moles and skin tags
()
wow--this one hit the nail right on--just ended a long distance relationship with that forbidden love.....ahhhhhhhhhh--pain--geez thinking my heart might break-but we are so forbidden from each other--too many things--35 year age difference-our countries hate each-different religions--i could go on and on with this...we started as friends and talking for over 2 years--took that big jump very recently into much more than that--I knew this would never,ever be able to work-however-ending it is painful!!-because both of us truly do care about each other....i can only say what my experience with this is-but I would strongly advise to not do it--because now we lost our friendship too...this hurts--dont' do it!!-save yourself a lifetime of pain~~~~
Post a Comment