Something New (The Movie): Is It Really Possible?

If you've seen the movie (now on DVD) "Something New", I hope you can identify with this post. As a sucker for romantic comedies, I was completely engrossed in the movie all the way to the end. A+ on my scale because it had it all: a successful career-focused woman, the adventurous underdog of a white guy (who happened to be extremely cute), the successful power-driven black guy, and enough sexual repression and tension to spark a wildfire that would put Smokey the Bear in retirement.

So, after explaining why I loved the movie to a friend, he told me that what happened in the movie is just too unrealistic because no successful African-American woman would ever go for a struggling, "granola" (his words) white guy with a non-professional job. Period.

I begged to differ, of course, but when he asked for examples, I came up short. So, my question to you all is this:

Do you think it's possible for a successful, career-driven woman to date a non-professional, adventerous guy who makes significantly less money than she does?

On thinking further about the money difference, I just remembered that Simon Baker was an architectural landscaper and did work for million-dollar homes (the parents of the chick who set him and Sanaa up). So, maybe he wasn't so "granola" after all. :)

Speak up! Do professionals only date other success-driven professionals? Or is there still a chance that any of us could experience "something new"?

Tags: Something New, Trailer & Clips, Simon Baker, Sanaa Lathan, Blair Underwood, Alfre Woodard, Mike Epps, Donald Faison

Can women really run the world?

With the lack of any good, pertinent articles to discuss, I've decided to raise an issue that I think is pertinent to all of our lives: Can women really run the world? In the latest Marie Claire, Julia Stiles talks about the 10 hardest things she's learned. The one that intrigued me most was: #4 - "If women could channel all the time and energy they spend on diets and food issues into something else, we'd be running the world. Or maybe I'm crazy."(click here for the article)

When I read this, it threw me off for a second. I guess I had just imagined these words coming from someone with a less-than-airbrushed blonde-haired, blue-eyed size 2 bombshell who's on the front cover of one of the country's most popular women's magazines. But maybe that's just me. Regardless, she does bring up a good point.

Yesterday, I turned on Oprah and saw that they were giving a young African-American woman help with her eyebrows. They even had the world-famous Anastasia come on the show and do this woman's eyebrows in front of the audience. The only thing I could think of was "Are we more concerned about plucking, pulling, relaxing, doing other things to our body than we are about world issues or even national issues (e.g. Hurricane danger, Afghanistan's exponentially increasing death toll, etc.)?"

In Oprah magazine's latest issue, there's a great article about how women in Sweden (I think it's Sweden)are ususally the breadwinners and the men stay home to raise the kids. They have a better maternity leave and women are more abrasive than those in the U.S. due to their wish to keep the balance of power equal to that of men (i.e. many women refuse the men if they try to pay for a date, etc.).

Women abroad are running their countries, but is it possible for American women to do the same? Or do we have more of power struggle due to the acts of chivalry and male-domination that has ruled this country since Washington was president?

Are women are still hitting the "glass ceiling" or is there a chance for us to really have equal access to the same positions and power as men?

Daddy Issues That Affect Your Career

It's crazy to think that the type of father you had could affect your success in the workplace, but this article does bring up some interesting points about how this could be possible. In a new book called "The Father Factor" by Stephan Poulter, it discusses how children of a certain type of father may be able to use their childhood experiences to their advantage in their career. For example, if you had an explosive father, you'll be better at reading people's moods which could help you be sensitive to your boss and co-workers. Or, if you had an absentee father, you're probably more inclined to be an over-achiever...to do more than your father ever did.



Read this article (it's short and interesting): Click Here

What type of father did/do you have?

Do you think you can attribute any of your successful or unsuccessful work behaviors to him?

This is a great topic and I can't wait to see your comments!

Choosing the Sex of Your Baby: Have We Gone Too Far?

Click Here for Article
Today's article talks about the new craze of foreigners flocking to the U.S. to choose the sex of their next baby. It's called "pre-implantation genetic diagnosis", and for $19,000 you too can choose the sex of your baby with 99% accuracy. However, this phenomenon brings up lots of issues, such as whether choosing your baby's sex will lead us to creating "designer babies" where you can choose their hair and eye color as well. Just like you'd customize your new car, you could customize your baby. In essence, cloning people could become a mass-production nightmare. Also, this phenomenon could create gender imbalance and an underclass of people who cannot afford to create the perfect child.

I believe that God's natural selection for the sex of your baby is the only way for it to be chosen. There's a reason why it's taken us 2000 years to figure out this technology...maybe it's not supposed to be figured out. I would be more supportive of this technology if it was used to generate medically helpful advances, but seeing that people are simply wanting a girl rather than a boy is unacceptable.

With pre-implantation genetic diagnosis, are we playing God or is this a new technology that can lead to more satisfying lives due to your ability to create the family balance that you want?

Speak up!

Can Typically "Forbidden" Relationships Work?

What's the best relationship advice? "Don't get any". I heard that from a friend's mom, and basically it means that when you're looking for answers in your relationship, only look to yourself...not others. Other people have their own biases and mindsets about relationships that may not fit with yours.

Questions:
What do you do when a relationship is typically "forbidden" by society, such as interracial relationships, one-night stands that turn into long-term relationships, and relationships where there's a huge age difference? Can they work?

Check out this article where typically "forbidden" relationships have worked out for the better.

What do you think? I know in the "Interracial Dating" post, many people had comments on people's mindsets regarding this (scroll down the right hand side of this blog to find the Interracial Dating post...it's under "Previous Posts").

Do you know of any stories where a typically "forbidden" relationship has worked out? What are the struggles that it presented?
- Long Distance
- Interracial
- Big Age Difference (older + younger person dating)
- Class Differences (blue collar + white collar dating)
- Same gender

SPEAK UP!
Billy Joel, 55, and 23 year old wife, Katie Lee

Dave Chappelle with wife and child



Other Articles on Dating:
Dating in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s
Why More Black Women are Dating White Men
5 Guys Every Girl Has To Date
5 Secrets of Successful Long Distance Relationships

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Rap Wars: When Will Rappers Get a Clue?

I'm half-asleep right now, but I wanted to get this off my chest since yesterday. As I drove into work yesterday, I heard on the radio that T.I.'s crew was involved in a high speed chase and one of T.I.'s crew members, his personal assistant, was killed (Click here for article).

At first, I thought "That's terrible." Then, I thought, "Didn't that dude from Eminem's group D12 get killed a week ago?" It's sad that now when we hear that a rapper has died, we immediately refer to the other rappers who've died.

I mean, you think people would get a clue that death is REAL...it's the end of that person's earthly existence forever. Not to sound morbid, but it seems that today's "wanna be thugs" or "true life thugs" think only about how tough they feel with a gun, but they don't think about how it'd feel to know that your last breaths were on their way out of your body.

So, with the deaths of Biggie, Tupac, D12 dude (cause I don't know his name), T.I.'s personal assistant, and others, when will these rappers get a clue and get hyped about LIFE, not death?

Is this nation doomed to lose more and more young men to violence due to how sexy rap music has made it? Or is this just a demonstration of how 'ignant (ignorant) folks can be?

What do you think?

Mother-Daughter Relationships: Giving Our Moms The Thanks They Deserve

In honor of Mother's Day, which is quickly approaching on May 14th, here's an article about how to mend Mother-Daughter relationships (a short, good read for everyone!): Click Here for Article

This past weekend, a mother who is a friend of my family told me that every mother lives through her daughter. I asked her why this was, and she basically told me that as daughters, we are given the opportunity to do what our mother's wish they had done in their youth. Because our mothers identify so strongly with their daughters, in some shape, form, or fashion, their urging us to do certain things can irk the living heck out of us...at times. But we still love them and they still did a great job with all of us.

So, in honor of Mother's Day, let's give a little thanks to all of our Moms...give a shout out to your Mom on our comment board saying "Mom, thanks for...." and then send your post to your Mom BEFORE Mother's Day, whether handwritten or in an email. It's always nice to get a note of gratitude, especially for a job that doesn't get a lot of thanks...don't you think?

I hope everyone can at least give 1 note of thanks to your mom. I'll start!

Can Men and Women Really Be Just Friends?

It's an age old question: can men and women can just be friends? Often times I hear women say that they have more male friend than female friends. Sometimes, it's because they never really liked how catty women can be. Other times, it's because they were tomboys as kids and they had more in common with guys rather than with girls.

But can they be JUST friends? If you have a lot of male friends, I bet you could count on one hand how many of them are unattractive. That's because there is some baseline attraction between all men and women who sustain a friendship...even if the attraction is simply you thinking your friend could be attractive to other women. He's still attractive.

So, if men and women who are friends are attracted to each other in some small way, can you keep male friends once you're in a relationship? How opposite sex friends affect a relationship?

I'd love to hear stories about whether you have any male friends and whether there is any level of attraction to them. How do you handle it? Is it appropriate when you're in a relationship?

Check out what other people have said about this subject: Click Here for Link