Do You Google Before You Date?

So, I was recently telling some friends that I used to google guys before I went out with them -- and even today, sometimes I google people to get background on who they are before I meet them in person, find out if they have any interesting news (can you say murder suspect? Yes...that happened to a friend!), or just out of boredom.

But the question is -- do you google a guy BEFORE you date him?

Only once have I chosen not to google -- and that was b/c I wanted to find out about a guy's family, but thought it was an invasion of privacy to google his family members, since he stayed mum about them. But other than that, GOOGLE ON!

What do you think? Is google free and clear to use on anyone or should it be used sparingly to protect folks' privacy?

check out your latest crush/man/friend w/ benefit here: www.google.com

Are All Men Cheaters?

Do all mean cheat? Or do all men just have the propensity to cheat, and it's up to them to control it? Over the years, I've had girlfriends in 1 of 2 camps: either all men cheat, or all men want to cheat. I have had some girlfriends that think that men are responsible enough to stay committed and true to their mate -- but sometimes, that comes back to haunt them.

I think guys are just as capable of staying committed as women -- but I also think women are just a capable of cheating as men.

In a world where:

romantic courtship + touching proposal = fantasy wedding

How can you be sure to not let the cheating monster rear its ugly head in your relationship?

What are the warning signs to look out for?

Baby Nupe (Greeks Gone Wild!)

Okay, so I've gotten this video twice in my inbox in the last 2 days, and I've just NOW watched it. So, here's the deal --- here's a "baby nupe", aka "Baby Kappa Alpha Psi", rockin' the hell outta this cane to "Wipe Me Down", a down-south favorite.

I don't know what bothers me more :
- that he's better than almost ALL the Nupes I've seen twirl, or
- that somebody actually taught this kid all these moves!

I can't even hate -- this boy has more rhythm than any GROWN man I've seen!

Check him out! "Wipe him down!" Go Baby Nupe!

Celebrity Divorce: Crap Shoot or Same As Everybody Else?

What is really going on with divorces in Hollywood? Are they breaking up because they have the limelight on them all the time, or are they breaking up because that's what can happen in a marriage when you don't marry for the right reasons?

So who all is broken up so far?

Shaq and Shaunie (4 kids together, 5 years of marriage, and homegirl stashed his cash -- smart girl)
Dwayne Wade (2 kids, 5 years of marriage)
Eddie Murphy (5 kids, 12 years of marriage)
Michael Jordan (3 kids, 17 years of marriage, and homegirl could get $150 mil)

So, what are the odds of making it? Does it depend on how many folks are in your business when you're married? Or does it start with marrying the right person for the right reasons to begin with?

Or, in fact, is it that once a cheater, always a cheater, and you shouldn't even bother faking the funk by signing the papers?

Sometimes I feel bad for athletes and celebrities because the public blows their head up so much that they think that even their crap smells like roses -- but that ain't the case. Sooner or later, someone's going to knock them down off that high pedestal and then who are they gonna have left? I even see this with college athletes. Don't think the world revolves around you just because you're hot for the minute. That's what I love about Will and Jada, or even Blair Underwood and his wifey -- home is home, and work is just work. Don't believe the hype, no matter if you're a celebrity or not.

Is It Okay For Black Men to Call Black Women a Bitch?

Is Isaiah Thomas the stupidest man on the face of this earth? Why in the HELL would you do a videotaped deposition and say that it's no as bad to call a black woman a bitch as it is for a white woman? That's insane. But he said it! And that's why the jury found him liable in the $10M lawsuit.

But seriously -- is that what black men think? What about us women -- is it "not as bad" for a black man to call us a bitch as it is a white man? I know we call our girlfriends' "bitches" jokingly sometimes (or so I've heard), but for a man to call me a bitch? As Whitney would say "Hell to the NAW!"

What's the verdict -- is it okay or not? BE FOR REAL...if you think it's not as bad, say it!

Check Isaiah's dumb butt incriminating himself (see below).

Wedding Day Mishaps! Relationship Test! What Women Need To Know!

Welcome back! This posting comes from the many stories about wedding day mishaps, bridesmaid horror stories, funny (and not so funny) family moments, and the "post" wedding day mishaps (photographer not sending your photos!) that I've heard my friends describe about their wedding day or the night before.

It's interesting because we all imagine that special day going perfectly -- the sun is shining, everyone's makeup is flawless, and the minister gets every single word right (even when you told him not to use the "obey" clause in the vows). But, it rarely goes perfectly, from what I hear.

FOR BRIDES TO BE AND FORMER BRIDES:
What didn't go so well on your wedding day or the night before? What do aspiring brides need to know BEFORE they embark on the madness of wedding day planning? POST IT !

FOR SINGLES, DATERS, THOSE WHO ARE "MORE THAN DATING":
How do you know if you're ready to get married? Dr. Phil has a good test that you can find here, but be sure to check out his 10 relationship myths too so that you know you're being realistic about your relationship and not living in a fantasy world!

Do tests like this really work? Or should we just do a gut check to figure out? Or do your thoughts on marriage change with the wind?

Click on "Comments" to share your thoughts!

Risky Love vs. Responsible Love - How Do We Choose?

Have you ever met someone who you instantly knew was special to you? When you see them, they take your breath away...and when they look at you, it paralyzes you and relaxes you at the same time? Or perhaps it's a love that grew out of a childhood friendship that never really went away because that person knows you inside and out and no one else can ever know you like that?

You know how it goes...you grow up, you realize that you have to be "responsible" and look for a mate that looks great on paper and will be a good, responsible life partner...and when you compare the passionate, risky love from one person to the responsible, mature love from another, you weigh the pros and cons and make your choice.

Which do you choose?

That's what the new movie "Premium" by writer-director Pete Chatmon explores. Starring Zoe Saldana ("Guess Who"), Dorian Missick ("Six Degrees"), Hill Harper ("CSI:NY"), and Frankie Faison ("White Chicks"), this real look at life, love and relationships will help you remember what's important in your own life. With it's early 2007 release, this is a movie you won't want to miss.

Movie Synopsis:
Reginald "Cool" Coolidge is a struggling actor fed up with taking stereotypical African American roles but waiting for his big break in a legitimate production. Until this time comes, he works at his mother's boyfriend's gas station to repay him for covering his college tuition. One day at the station, his ex-fiancée - and one true love - reappears at the pumps after 3 years of silence. Cool discovers that it is 36 hours until her wedding to a local lawyer. As Cool embarks on last-ditch attempts to win her back, he takes on the biggest "role" of his life while also learning the secret to mastering his craft.

Check out the trailer below and please support this film!

PREMIUM.

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Check out Pete Chatmon's MySpace page for more info on Premium:
http://www.myspace.com/double7film


Speak up and comment!

Which love is better - a mature, responsible love, or a passionate, risky one? Or is it even a choice?

Also, what do you think of this movie so far?

What Race is Jesus? A New Movie Shakes Up Cinema & Social Norms

Does the race of Jesus Christ matter in history, in today's society, or to you personally? Was Jesus Black? Or White? Or Chinese, or Hispanic? Can you picture Jesus as all of these races, or just one?

Filmmaker Jean Claude LaMarre has set out to demonstrate in his new film, "Color of the Cross", that the race of Jesus does not matter. In an article on MSN, LaMarre, who plays Jesus in his film, brings up an interesting point:

"Black people in this country are the only race of people who worship a god outside their own image," says LaMarre, 38, adding that showing Christ as a black man is "the most poignant way to deal with the issue of race in this country because it goes to the heart of how we look at the world."

Even for me, a progressive-thinking, liberal person, I have to admit that it's hard for me to imagine Jesus as Black, Asian, or Hispanic...really, anything other than an olive-skinned Middle Eastern looking man (or a white male with a tan, to be quite frank). I blame that on my upbringing in mostly white churches, but as an adult, I can't blame anyone for how I perceive Jesus, regarding race or anything else.


LaMarre believes that Jesus may have been persecuted in part because of His being a Black male. I think that's reaching just a bit, but it does bring up the fact that probably since the beginning of time, there has been racism. So, if Jesus were Black, or any other persecuted race (as we know He did suffer persecution), then His skin color may have played a part. The hard part is that we don't have pictures or evidence from His time period that can guide us in how He looked physically. Moreso, there are very few passages in the Bible that refer to Jesus' physical appearance:

Revelations 1:14-15

1:14 His head and [His] hairs [were] white like wool, as white as snow; and His eyes [were] as a flame of fire;
1:15 And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace; and His voice as the sound of many waters.
(KJV translation)

The wool-like hair and feet like "fine brass" could be indications that Jesus was dark-skinned or of African descent. But the wool hair could also refer to the color of his hair...so, that description alone may not be enough to determine Jesus was Black, or any other race for that matter. But the problem creeps in when social norms have determined that mainstream society will depict Christ as white, and we of other races accept that as an undoubtable truth.

The question now is, do you believe Jesus has a race? Do you think the race of your God or Christ should be the same as yours? Why?

Links for more info:
Interivew with LaMarre
BlackFlix site that highlights the movie
Background on the Race of Jesus