Will praying for your man improve your relationship?

So, I had a great discussion with a couple of work friends at lunch today -- which begged the question -- is there really a "perfect" guy out there? Now, of course, none of us intelligent women believe there is such a thing, because that'd mean there's a such thin as a perfect PERSON. HowEVA, I do think a lot of us aspire to as close as perfection as we can get in a guy and when we find it, we hold on like hell.

What was most amazing to me is that one friend, let's call her Kim, is a newlywed and she and her hubby are the cutest couple in the world! So, when she told me that even SHE had to read and pray to get to a good place in her newly-minted marriage, I thought "hmm...even newlyweds are still trying to figure it out." What was even MORE amazing is that she told me, in all honestly, she wasn't sure she was ready to be married even during her engagement. How mind blowing is that?!

Whenever someone gets engaged, it seems they run to the alter (unless they're crazy and deranged or a drama-filled person anyway, in which case, we assume they're doomed from the start). But when Kim told me this, I realized that maybe not everyone is 100% sure when they get engaged or even married (thank goodness!).

Kim told me the secret to some of her success - she reads a book called "The Power of a Praying Wife", by Stormie Omartian . Now, Kim isn't a "holy roller" or even someone who claims to read Christian books (and I don't necessarily think "She's a Christian" upon meeting her, just to give you reference) - but she said THIS book, which she got as a gift for her engagement, has given her some amazing tools she's needed as an engaged woman and as a new wife and it's made a huge difference in her life.

Something I've been considering is this: perhaps we get confused or anxious when big events happen in our lives because we don't have something sturdy in our lives to ground us - whether it's your faith, purpose, or otherwise. And if we find that thing that we can hook onto to make us feel stable in life, then everything else will fall into place because we know THAT one thing...that stable factor...is true and pure.

Anyway, back to the book, check out the numerous reviews for The Power of a Praying Wife here and see for yourself if it might be a good read for you. I'm going to B&N this weekend and will flip-through to see for myself! Enjoy!

Beyonce & Justin Timberlake: Put a Ring On It Video

Check out your girl B with her new backup dancers that include Justin Timberlake in this SNL skit - I about died laughing! Is it me or is Justin really good and just trying not to be?!?! Enjoy! (Here's the link to the REAL Beyonce video...to compare...CLICK HERE TO SEE JUSTIN IN A LEOTARD DANCING TO "PUT A RING ON IT"!

McCain shows up to Letterman, after standing him up and getting called on it!

Not sure if you all remember this, but a few weeks ago, McCain was scheduled to appear on the David Letterman show. An hour before the show, he calls Letterman, cancels, and says he has to go "straight back to the White House." Letterman then has to scramble to get another guest on (Keith Olbermann, MSNBC anchor who hosts "Countdown with Keith Olbermann). While speaking to Olbermann, he finds out that McCain did not go straight to the White House -- instead, he did an interview with Katie Couric and Letterman caught it and blasted him for it.

So, the Mccain finally appeared on Letterman this week -- check out what he said about WHY he lied and hear his response to Palin's claim that Obama pals around with terrorists, and how Letterman says the same could be said of McCain -- is this your president?

Palin Supporters Afraid the "Blacks" Will Take Over!

In Ohio, a swing state in this election, Palin supporters came out for her rally and spoke about their feelings on Obama, revealing that they don't think a NEGRO should be president because NEGROES are 2nd string players...not 1st string (listen to how he says Negro -- you know he says ni**a when he's talking to his own peeps). Check out the video showing what they REALLY said -- what do you think about this?



Man, as this races comes to a close, people are becoming unabashed in their hatred and racism -- and that's freaking unfortunate. We all know racism still exists -- but having it bring brought out so openly in this election is not only disappointing, but it's dangerous...not just for Barack...but for his supporters (of any race/culture)...and for African-Americans as a whole.

We HAVE to make sure that as we move into the future, we become MORE tolerable, respectful, and inclusive...not LESS. And our president AND Americans should encourage that...and not the hateful rhetoric that will continue to divide our country and make it a dangerous place to live. 'Nuff said.

The Game: Derwin & Melanie - should she have kicked his butt to the curb...again?

I guess I'm in the blogging mood tonight! So, I watched the first 2 new The Game episodes and I have to say...I am totally emotionally involved in this show. Check out the beginning of the premiere episode below. (My favs: Jason and Kelly, and Derwin and Melanie).

In case you don't know how the season started...Derwin (NFL football player) and Melanie (the girlfriend who was with him before the fame...who broke up with him for good reason...left....found a new guy...and just now admitted she's still in love with him)...have been fighting to get each other back. Now, Melanie's given in and is ready to start again with her 1 and only love, thinking that he's free since he just broke up with his girlfriend Jenay.

So...after seeing this clip -- would you have stayed with Derwin? Or would you have kicked his irresponsible butt to the curb? I mean...I think love is strong, but THAT'S a lot! I hate when men say "i gotta take care of my responsibility" AFTER the girl is pregnant...um, homie...you should've been taking care of that BEFORE...meaning, wear a hat!

So, did Mel make the right move????



And for those who watched this episode, what the HELL was Malik thinking in talking to Tasha like that?! I loved how she mushed him in the head - way to go, mama Tasha!

McCain Shuts Down Supporters Who Call Obama a "Terrorist" or "Arab"

So, I was recently asked by many people why I haven't written about the election, as this presents a prime opportunity to blog about the state of the country, among other things. The answer is, everyone's writing about it...and I want to read what others think rather than spout out my thoughts on the campaign. However, a recent video caused a reaction in me that I can only describe as utter disappointment. Not on McCain's behalf, but due to the intrinsic, deep-seeded hatred that some people have and will never let go of.

Check out this video and tell me what you think about people who say racism is dead in America. Is America as screwed up as we feared, or do we have a shot at REALLY overcoming the demons of racism?

Relationships: Break Up or Make Up? How do you know when to call it quits or when to hang in there?

Last night, I went to a local favorite bar with several co-workers, and inevitably, the conversation turned into relationship updates. Who's still together? Who's broken up? Who's in limbo? I was shocked to find out several long-term relationships had ended, whether due to distance or lack of progress in the relationship itself. But the one common thread through it all is that nothing is forever, and perhaps their breakup isn't either. But for right now, breaking up was what they had to do.

This makes me question - how do you know when it's time to call it quits and when you should hang in there? I read an interesting book recently called "Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay" by Mira Kirshenbaum and though I'm not sure it's the best book to help determine whether to stay or go, it does ask interesting questions and makes you think about the quality of the relationship rather than worry about 1 sticking point.

Breakups are hard. I just ran into a friend of a friend this morning in the hair salon, and she said she moved back to Atlanta. Of course, I asked why. Her response: "I got divorced and found myself alone, so why stay in Cali? May as well come back to Atlanta." When I think of all of the hard breakups I've heard about, divorce is one of the hardest. There is no right answer...no verifiable solution that makes you feel you've done the absolutely right thing (unless the person was abusive). So, how do we know when to stay and when to go?

Here are some tips on how to know when to stay and when to go:

#1. Your relationship is like a cul-de-sac -- you've gotten to a nice part of the neighborhood but you keep going in circles, without going forward or backward. You're just stuck in a nice part but you're ready to venture forward. When this happens, think about how you got to this place and why you're still in the relationship. For comfort? Security? Quality of Life? What's the trade-off and is it worth it? Everyone makes trade-offs, but it's up to you to determine which sacrifices are worth staying in the relationship.

#2. He/she doesn't support you when you need it most. Can you remember a time where you really needed them and their response was the opposite of what you needed? If this happens over and over, then perhaps they're never going to have the response you need. And if that's the case, can you continue the relationship knowing that you will likely never get the support you need? Case in point - if you got a really great job doing something you love far away, your partner should be happy for you and discuss how you two can work it out, and LIKEWISE, you should try to figure out a solution to keep the relationship alive. If you both put the relationship first, then your priorities are in sync and as long as you work to keep the relationship good, your relationship outlook is good. If, on the other hand, the person complains about how you'll be gone and they won't have anyone with them, kick his/her ass to the curb and find someone who wants to help you reach your dreams!

#3. If you've been together for a long time, and neither of you is sure he/she is THE ONE, then maybe they AREN'T the one...or you just need more time looking. It's okay to scour cities in search of a better deal than you already have. If you're not engaged, then the door should be open. Life is too short to limit yourself to one person when you don't know if that person is THE ONE for you. Or maybe there isn't just ONE for you - but you need to find that out too. Put it this way - don't tie yourself up too early and too soon just because you like security and having someone to come home to. You can have that AND still meet new people. Keep your eyes and your heart open for the possibilities of finding a great one, and you'll get there. Trust me.

That's it for now. If you have some good relationship tips/advice, send them on. We're all trying to find our way in love, life, and relationships and we could use all the help you have to give!

Obama's Daughters Speak Up!

Everyone's been buzzing today about Senator Obama's family interview, and the fact this is girls were so adorable. Some even loved how the older daughter rocked her cornrows on a national interview - kudos to the Obamas for that!



What I loved about it, though, is how NORMAL they all seem - not too "posh" or overdone, and you can tell they probably prepped their kids a little, but they let them be KIDS...and not media mavens. However, Obama wasn't prepared for how much attention his daughters got, and in fact, he now regrets exposing them so much in the media. Now the panelists are debating over whether he SHOULD keep his kids off limits -- but who are they to decide?!?! Or even to debate it? His kids, his (and Michelle's) choice.

And I can't blame him -- the media has treated him and his family abusively and inappropriately so often (check out Michelle Obama being called his "BABY MAMA"), I wouldn't want them to run away with these kids' innocence and expose them to the negativity in the world through such easy means as a political race.

Kudos to Obama for being such a good dad and to Michelle for being his partner in it all - if they can run the country as well as they run their family, we'll be in better shape on Day 1 of his presidency, that's for sure (unlike Bush whose daughters were running around naked and drunk everywhere)!